Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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