I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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