i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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