OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She bit a glass in half.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
