i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
