There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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