i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
