You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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