You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
