i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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