She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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