he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
