I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
