Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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