At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
