I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize