somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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