It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
