Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
