the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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