Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
