I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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