you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
