I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
