I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
