Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
