sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i believe in u and ur pee
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize