kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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