it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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