Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
