but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
