At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
COCAINE IS GR8
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
