I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize