just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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