My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
