I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
the raccoons are back...
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