Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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