The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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