I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
