I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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