My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
