seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
