I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
