it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
