Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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