ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize