I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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