My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
