Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
