I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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