i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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