I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
