thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
