Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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